All Hopped Up on Chocolate

Let me just preface this post by saying that I’m up super late, and really tired, but awake, because I ate a handful of 60% cacao chocolate chips.  Uh, so, this may not be written very well, let alone, make much sense.  But anyways.

Today was a pretty good day.  We had a triumph here at the house.  Beau went the entire day in the same pair of underwear!  Woohoo!  We went “cold turkey”, meaning just putting him in undies instead of pull-ups sometime last week.  As many of you know, potty training is not so much training your child as training yourself to be consistent.  So I guess I did a pretty good job today.  We even went to the doc, and Sam’s club, and he took a nap!  Tonight he’s sleeping in them. I’m not expecting him to make it through the night without and accident, but I thought it was important that he feels that we trust him.  (And his sheets need to be washed anyways.)  Also, apparently June is “Potty Training Awareness Month”.  Go figure.

I mentioned we went to the doc, which turned out to be a pretty good experience, as far as doc appointments go.  I have to say here, that I’m soooo thankful for my extended family!  They are always such a great help to me.  My grandmother-in-law and brother-in-law walked over to the office to meet me and pick up Drew and Selah, so I didn’t have to bring them with me to the appointment.  They saved me a lot of stress and from being late!  And I love my kids’ pediatrician.  She’s great.  Never underestimate the comfort of having a doctor you feel like you can trust.  Beau is doing fabulously too.  No immunizations today either.  Thank the Lord!

Then I came home and met my new neighbor, who is also a stay at home mom of young children and she is so nice!  I’m so excited to have somebody two doors down who’s in the same boat as I am.  Yay!

Also, I’m feeling much better today after coming down with whatever Kev and Selah had, and think I should be back to myself tomorrow.  

So anyways…if you made it through this rambling post, you are a devoted reader, and I thank you.  If not…well, you probably aren’t reading this right now, so plllllllt!  (that’s me blowing a playful raspberry at  you).

Running on Empty

So yesterday found my husband and later, my little girl, feeling rather sickly.  So we just lazed around the house doing nothing too significant.  Then we went to the store to gather some much needed groceries, or rather, I went into the store, while hubby and the kids stayed in the car.  Poor Selah has been throwing up since yesterday afternoon, poor thing.  Neither Kevin or myself slept very well last night because we were hyper aware of Selah, wanting to make sure she was safe while puking.

 At one point, I woke  up and looked at our ceiling and saw the shadow of what I thought was a very large bug.  So I woke Kevin up and told him, “There’s something very large on our ceiling. I don’t know what, but it’s huge.”  To which he graciously chuckled and said, “That?  That’s our fire alarm.”  And then I replied, “Well, that’s what sleep deprivation will do to you.”

So I feel like I’m running a bit on empty today.  Selah is obviously not feeling any better, and on top of that, she is cutting two teeth.  (Isn’t that always the case?)  What I’m really hoping is that it is just some fluke that she and Kevin got sick, and that the rest of us wont get sick.

Welcome to the New Look

Which will inevitably be changing soon.  This photo that I had as the header for two short days, is a magna-doodle drawing that Drew did the other day.  He drew Kevin while they were waiting in the car for me to come out of the grocery store.  When I came out and Kev showed me the drawing, telling me that Drew drew it, I thought he’d helped Drew out a bit, but nope! Drew is the sole artist here and I was pretty impressed.

The current graphic is one that Kevin constructed himself, and tweaked it a little bit for me.  (My favorite color is purple, so he changed all the color in it to purple.)  Thanks babe, you rock!

Oh, and I came up with the new title…although, I imagine that might change periodically as well, and become more of a changing tagline than anything.  You know, because changing your mind is a women’s prerogative. So henceforth, I shall be known as “sarahgrace”, because that is something that will never change.  At some point in time my web address may also change, but I will be sure to let you know when I do that.  

I Have Big Feet!

So I got some new skate shoes yesterday after lots and lots of research, and then tons more of scouring my (disappointing) local stores. I have to say the drawback of shopping (for shoes anyway) on the internet is that you have all these options, but the sizes are often not available, and even if they do have your size, you still don’t know if it fits until the shoe gets to your house. Or you can find the perfect shoe,(the grey one) and then it randomly becomes unavailable and you can’t find another site that is selling it (that’s what happened to me!) So anyways…I got new shoes, and they’re not exactly what I wanted, but they’re good enough, and I was thinking of ways to customize them, and kind of make them my own and I figured I’d get some purple shoe laces for them. So back to the internet I go, seeing that finding shoelaces isn’t nearly as complicated as buying shoes. (Right?) And I stumbled across this site. Who knew lacing your shoes could be such an art?
Oh yeah, and the reason for the title…I’m wearing a size 10 in my new shoes. A 10! Size 10! Anyways, that’s not so bad, but I really appreciate when I find a shoe that can make my feet look smaller- uh, not that these do. But at least I’m not going to have smooshed toes. The nice thing about seeing an actual human to buy shoes? He/she will tell you why it’s a good thing to have a thumbs width between your toes and the toe of the shoe. Seriously…I think I have several pairs of shoes that are too small for me and I’ve just been putting up with them for a long time. Oh well…

On Behalf of my Little Boy Beau

We apologize to any of you locals who shop at Old Navy…as you may not be able to find the price of the clothing you are looking at…

…because these are just a fraction of the stash we found in Beau’s little hiding place the other day.

Feeling Much Better

Actually I started feeling much better right after I posted my last post. I guess getting it off my chest was really a good start. Then I was able to talk about it with a lot of you which was also really helpful. I think part of it was feeling lonely. I think a lot of you can relate to that. As stay at home mothers we are often very isolated. It’s not easy to pack up your children (especially when you have more than one) and go out and do things, so we are often at home surrounded by a cacophony of all things kid and a lack of adult interaction. And that’s why I love blogging, (and I’m sure why there’s a large amount of “mommy bloggers”) because it connects me to other adults and I don’t feel quite as alone. (And then I’m not speaking in squeaks and grunts when my husband comes home after work!)
Something else I need to watch out for is being a perfectionist. (It runs in my family.) I often wont write because I feel like I’m not a good enough writer to put my thoughts out there. (Which quite frankly, I know is B.S.) Some days the writing comes and some days it doesn’t. I just need to write for the sake of connecting and getting my thoughts out there, not because I’m trying to impress myself or anyone else. (Can I get an Amen?)
I got a bit of physical activity in this weekend too, which is always needed. And I’m not talking about trucking around the house and doing chores, I’m talking about getting out somewhere and doing something that gets your adrenaline pumping and your heart racing. For me, that was skateboarding. Granted, I have a few bruises and scrapes and really great clip of me having and epic fall (that I need to get from my BIL), but I’m really glad I’m doing it.
I feel like I have a direction for the summer which is also nice. It’s kind of depressing to be at the beginning of the summer and feel like you don’t have anything to look forward to or any goals to reach- and I felt like that for just a bit. But now I’m feeling like I can focus on having around town adventures, a lot of skating and finding (empty) skate parks, and of course there’s always the pursuing of my art. Which I shall (and should) be sharing more of.
Thank you all for your kind words and advice, you all helped pull me through.

Well…I had to really fight to even write this post today, and then when I got here, I still didn’t want to post because it’s the same old story, and I hate to feel like I’m depressing and or letting my readers down. (I really need to stop making myself responsible for everyone elses happiness) Anyways, I’m pulling the “it’s my blog and I’ll cry if I want to” card here, and posting what’s really on my heart. Maybe you can help me.
I’ve still been feeling really unmotivated and tired this week. It’s not changing. Either I’m actually depressed, or I’m having a really big hormonal shift. Who knows? (Certainly not me.) I feel like a really high functioning depressed person. I can muster enough energy to do the necessary things, like getting out of bed, showering, laundry and preparing food, conversing with people. I just don’t feel like doing much else. Maybe I’m not depressed. Maybe I’m grieving something. But what? I just keep trying to mentally fight this and hope that it goes away, and I will eventually feel like myself again.

Mommy Guilt

I lieu of Mother’s Day, (ha ha) I’ve been feeling like I don’t deserve one this week. I’ve yelled at my boys, said things I shouldn’t have, gotten frustrated with my crying baby, let them watch too much TV, listened to them overreact and assume it’s my fault because I’m not paying them enough attention. Yes, I’m the walking picture of “mommy guilt” this week. And then I think, “I know I’m not the only one who feels like this.” Furthermore, I bet my mom felt like this too. And then I think, “well geez, I think my mom did a terrific job!” I look back at my childhood with much fondness, and thankfulness for the way in which I was raised. I really appreciate that my mom was always home, cooked for us, cleaned for us. I’m glad that she taught me how to do my laundry, have fun, and think for myself. She gave me an appreciation for art, music and nature. She was there when I made a lot of bad decisions, and brave enough to fight with me and for me through some rough times. Now she’s one of my best friends, and I feel so blessed to have her for a mother. I hope I’ve gotten at least some of my mommy skills from her, and that my children feel the way about me that I do about her.
So to all of my friends who are mothers I wish you a very happy Mother’s Day, and hopefully a year without any “mommy guilt.” Or at least when you do have “mommy guilt”, you remember all the good things you’ve done for your children, and all the good things your mom has done for you.

Reasons to Smile

Explain that to Me Again

Just wanted to say, that I have been around- I’ve been reading a lot of your blogs, but not commenting. I have a touch of depression this week, and just lacking the motivation to interact. Nothing serious, probably just do to some cycle of hormones (thats what I blame everything on.) I’m working on it, and going to be okay. Just filling my need to explain myself, because I know you all were wondering… 😉