Okay. So there is so much to share about this conference I really don’t know where to begin. Let me just start by saying that it was an awesome conference and if you can make it, you should totally fork out the cash and go. It will probably be one of the best things you’ll ever do for your marriage. Also, it doesn’t matter what state your marriage is in, whether it’s never been better or could really use some help, this conference is for any marriage. Basically, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has taken the verse in Ephesians 5:33 “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband,” and made a mantra for marriage out of it. You know those fights you get into with your spouse where whatever you were arguing about to begin with, turns into something totally different, obviously deep seeded and previously unresolved? Well, the idea is that the wife is crying out for and needs love and so she begins to respond to her husband without respect, and vice versa, the husband needs and wants respect, so he responds to his wife without love. Women have a deep need to be loved and nurtured and men have a deep need to be respected. And so you can see, and as Dr. Eggerichs labeled it, this “crazy cycle” begins where you just go back and forth until one of you gets what you need. And once you realize that you are in the “crazy cycle”, one of you, whoever is the most mature *wink, wink*, needs to set aside their needs for a moment and apologize and begin to respond with love/respect. That was a fraction of what the conference covered, but kind of one of the foundations that was built on. He also adressed the differences between men and women, (because for some reason, some people think we are the same, but if you’ve been around for any length of time you KNOW, that just isn’t true) and one thing he kept on saying that I really liked was, that doing/thinking things a mans way or doing/thinking things a womans way isn’t wrong, just different. So we were encouraged and given examples of ways to begin relating to our spouse in their own language. For men, examples of how to treat them respectfully, and for women, examples for how to treat them lovingly.
I know all of this may sound simple (that is if I’ve done it any justice in explaining it, I apologize if I’ve confused you), and it is simple, but it isn’t at the same time. I was really struck by my lack of understand for how the male brain works. I really thought I understood how they worked, but I really don’t. Now that I’ve gone to this conference, I feel like I have a better tool for understanding and communicating with my husband.
I would share more with all of you, but frankly there is way too much to cover (and that could be a bit boring coming from me too). Just know that I highly recommend this conference. If you can’t go, I recommend the books. I know my hubby and I wished that every married couple we knew could go. So if you have a chance, and the health of your marriage is important to you, check it out, you’ll be happy you did. (The link is the post below.)