So, this is a new little guy I made this week. Aside from him, I’ve been making other small kitchen helpers. Pinch pots and salt and pepper wells. Tea bag holders, butter bells, mugs and utensil holders etc…
I am planning on eventually selling them in an etsy store. My dilemma is that I haven’t come up with a good name for my shop yet, and I was wondering if you, dear reader(s) could help me? If you have any good ideas for a name, leave me a comment.
Thanks!
Stating the obvious right? But sometimes, I feel like we expect things to be easy, or easier. But truth is, they’re not. And we get tied up in this downward cycle of being frustrated that it’s not easier to parent our own children, and thoughts of “they’d be better off without us” get thrown in, and before we know it, we’re crumpled on the bathroom floor with our heads in our hands, tears streaming down our face, wondering how to face it all. The truth is, parenting is hard. The truth is, you can’t be perfect. BUT, the truth is, you can do your best, and that’s all you can expect.
Just yesterday, I woke up in a grumpy mood. (It’s pretty common for me. I’m not a morning person.) I proceeded to trudge through my morning chores, shuffling out to the kitchen to make sure the corn puffs didn’t end up all over the floor, or that the honey didn’t flow too freely. All four of my children were up and sitting at our bar, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, as the saying goes. They began their usual routine of bickering/saying many repetitive phrases over and over again/poking each other/getting in each other’s personal space/arguing. You know how it goes… I reacted with anger. Barking at them to be nice, to be quiet, to leave each other alone. My voice getting louder with each warning. At one point I realized I was yelling, and then I told Drew to “shut up.” I hate that phrase: “shut up.” In my mind, it’s not okay for me to say that to my kids. I’d just crossed one of my own boundaries. I felt like poo, and I was still grumpy. I figured Kevin had probably heard me from the other room and was stewing about it himself as well.
Then Kevin and I drove the boys to school together, and other conflicts ensued. Kevin lashed out because he was already angry at me for yelling at the kids. I gave him the silent treatment and resolved to get out of house. We ended up in the bathroom together, waves of irritation rolling off of each other so thick you could almost touch them. Finally, Kevin says we need to talk about this before I leave. Since this is kind of our policy, to talk things out, especially when we are angry with each other, and because I knew we needed to, I stayed in the bathroom and began that painful dance we call communication.
And I ended up sitting on our closed toilet, head in hands, tears streaming down face. Uncontrollable emotion because I’m thinking that I’m just not capable of being a good mom to my kids. Maybe somebody else really can do a better job than me. Maybe my kids would be better off if I wasn’t around.
But you know what? Those are lies. No one is more capable of being a better parent to my kids than I am, and my kids would be shattered if I wasn’t around. The fact of the matter is, parenting is hard.
It’s not exactly something that you want to remind yourself of each day, but I think it needs to be remembered often, if only to help a parent be fully prepared for the task at hand. Raising this child (these children) isn’t going to be easy. It’s going to require loads of your time, all of your thought, all of your Intention and Attention. It’s going to be physically draining. You’re going to get sick, and they will get sick. You are going to be tired and irritated. You are going to make mistakes… And your children will survive.
If you consider yourself well-adjusted, (I do. Most days.) If you consider yourself a success, (I do. Most days.) If you consider yourself loved, (I do. Every day.) Then, you have a parent (or parents) to thank.
The fact of the matter is, when I look back at my childhood, I see mostly good days. I had a great childhood. I knew my parents loved me. I knew they were doing their best to raise me. In fact, I think they did a pretty darn good job, and I am thankful for the sacrifices and the effort they put into raising me. But you know what? They weren’t perfect. They made mistakes, and I am ok.
I’m tired of analyzing all the up and downs of my childhood and how my parents raised me, and how my husband’s parents raised him, and how my parent’s parents raised them. I’m tired of worrying about screwing up my children if I don’t do every little thing just right. (And, what is “right” anyway?) That is an unbearable weight to live under. It gets in the way of the real day-to-day and moment-to-moment parenting that needs to happen. I become paralyzed by worrying about making some mistake that will affect my kids and cause them to be unhappy later on in life, and thereby make the bigger mistake of taking no action at all. The fact is, that none of us are perfect parents. That is an unattainable thing. The only thing we can do is our Best. And when we make a mistake (because we will), we set it right.
And so. I resolve to remember that parenting is hard. That I do have what it takes to be the best possible parent for my kids. That they are better off with me. That I’m not going to be perfect. That my parents did a good job raising me, and I am thankful to them. That I can correct my mistakes, and apologize and make things right with my children. That I love them and they love me, and I can do this.
I don’t know what the deal is with the weather here lately. And I’m not complaining. It’s been really warm and more like March weather than January weather. Yesterday was a gorgeous day and we finally got the memo and went outside to enjoy it. This is good because today we are back to normal January weather: grey and gloomy and foreboding.
I hadn’t pulled out my camera at all last week, so I took the opportunity yesterday to grab some shots and take advantage of the warmth and the natural light.
Kevin, of course, takes advantage of the nice weather in his own way. You’ll never see a more sharply dressed (and handsome) man on a skateboard.
I really liked this one because it looks like everything is moving but Kevin.
Somebody else likes to be on the ramp too.
I call this one Doting Daddy; Distracted Daughter.
King of the Ramp.
To the trampoline!
Beau is… saying something.
We cried.
And then it’s over.
Uh-oh! She’s got a hose full of water!
Water!
My gorgeous little Princess.
Taken while on mommy’s hip.
Up, Mama!
I did it! No more awful pic of me…
Because, obviously, as my MIL pointed out- that dragon doesn’t quite look like me! Hahaha.
Not that I necessarily want to draw attention to it, but- I really can’t stand that first flickr pic of myself over there in that sidebar. Furthermore, it’s not the newest shot on my flickr page. Does anyone know how to get your flickr photos to change up more often?
I think we’ve all been fighting off various forms of viruses here. (Unfortunately, some have involved vomiting.) Selah was no exception, and crashed out a few times on the couch last week. This was after we’d had some fun making our own crowns with our cousins… too cute.
You might think is a bad capture, but actually, Selah makes this particular face quite frequently…
Selah and Rory pretty much love crafting of any sort… and so those little foam projects that you see all over the craft stores? Yeah, they’re in my house… I’m still finding the random little pieces everywhere. Oh well, goes with the territory.
This is Selah intently watching Beau play video games and studiously ignoring the mom with the camera.
Made it a point this week to at least get some shots of one of the boys… This is a look Beau wears whenever he’s frustrated with something. The video game… it is eluding him.
Success!
The only acknowledgement of my presence.
Selah, trying desperately to get away from me. Accompanied by high screeches and wails of “Noooo! Don’t take my picture!” Haha!
A little buddy I made for a friend…
Must close with another of Selah asleep in the afternoon sun, all sprawled out… and comfortable? Hrm.
I have some ambitious friends, who are aspiring to take a photo every day on this 366 day year, and I applaud them. I’d like to join them, however, I know how I am. I tend to make more stress for myself than is necessary. (K.I.S.S.) Soooo, I am planning on taking more pictures this year, and if I’m able to pull my camera out more than once a week this year, I’ll call myself “accomplished.” Here are some of my pictures from the last week.
Rory often falls asleep with a book on her chest… and I just think it’s one of the cutest things ever!
Selah and Rory having fun with the pillows on the chaise lounge together…
A close-up of Rory, since Selah kept hiding under the pillows and/or wiggling too much to capture.
Jalapeño poppers that I made for our little New Years party. (In all fairness, I didn’t shoot this one, Kevin did.) But I wanted to let you know, that I did a stupid thing. (See, you can all laugh at me now.) I made all those without protecting my hands. A few hours later, my hands were on fire! Oh my gosh… I’ll never make that mistake again. Incidentally, I was looking up remedies to take away the sting, and ended up smearing sour cream all over my hand- that worked fairly well… Next time, I’ll just wear gloves. 
New years resolutions…
Happy New year! I’ve definitely scoffed at making resolutions in the past, but I’ve come to appreciate the directive focus that making a yearlong goal can have in my life. It’s good to set goals, it’s good to try to achieve things, it’s good to have a direction. I know a lot of people don’t set goals for fear of failure, and I understand that. I did not meet all my goals from last year. But I’ve come to value failure, and see it as fuel to press on until I do succeed. Failure means that you’re actually trying, and it’s the trying that I think is important. With trying, change comes. Without trying, we remain stagnant and unsatisfied with ourselves and our lives. So this year, my theme for this year is to keep trying, even when I meet failure again and again.
Here’s a few of my more concrete (or not so concrete) goals for this year.
A side note; this morning I asked my dad what his resolutions were for the year. He only had one and this is how he put it. “At the risk of sounding spiritual (at which point I chuckled) I want to put God first.” I thought that was really great and now I’m beginning to see it as a challenge too. So that’s my first goal this year: To put God first. To take the time to pray and study and consult. Here’s the rest:
-Spend more time actually paying attention to my kids.
-Be happier.
-Laugh more.
-Be present.
-Knit more.
-Sew more.
-Write more.
-Pottery more.
-Stay on top of my fitness.
-Be myself.
Lately I’ve been taking a little more of an active role in my husband’s business. I’ve even been calling it our business. I’ve always taken care of our books, but recently I’ve been going on more shoots with him, kind of being an assistant of sorts. A couple of weeks ago, we were given the opportunity to go and stay in Snowmass, to shoot a commercial on the ski slopes there. Did I mention this job sucks? (That’s sarcasm, by the way.)
We have some really great clients, and they invited us to stay with them at their lovely house. They treated us to a dinner out, and then cooked breakfast and dinner for us the next day! Wow. It is so nice to be valued.
Shooting on the mountain definitely had it’s challenges… It was a whole lot of stop and go, pull out the camera, try to communicate what kind of shot we’re trying to get, and shoot. And hope for the best. I did not do any of the videography on the hill. Mostly, I was just there for moral support. (Though I did use my awesome powers of neat handwriting and great spelling, so Kevin could dictate his commercial ideas to me, the night before.)
It was also frigid on that mountain. Wait, let me say that again. IT WAS FRIGID! Also, it was absolutely beautiful up there… sigh… mountain views for miles on end…
I was sore ALL over the place the day after the shoot, but it was definitely worth it…
Geez, my life is hard. 
We took a family vacation to Southern California, by way of Las Vegas…
It was a much needed, much enjoyed break from our crazy busy lives. We packed ourselves, plus Kevin’s mom, brother and sister (that’s nine people) in our Suburban and drove. And for your information, I was the one who sat in the front middle seat. Fortunately, that was only for the Las Vegas to California leg of the trip, because my BIL, Philip flew into Vegas and we picked him up and dropped him off there.
We had a great time! You would think that would go without saying, but when you have four children, and you’re driving, vacations aren’t necessarily…fun. But this time, with the help of three other capable adults, we were all sufficiently entertained, fed, potty-ed, and payed attention to. (Or at least Kevin and I felt that way, I can’t really speak for the other 3, but I’m fairly certain they had fun too. *wink*)
So we found a couple of great websites, Vacation Rentals by Owner and Vacation Rentals.com.. And we began looking for a suitable house for all of us to stay in. In the past, we’ve ended up in hotel rooms. Many of them the size of postage stamps, none of them a great place to just “chill.” We discovered that for us, an essential ingredient to a successful vacation is “chill” time. Well, you can’t chill in tiny little (often dirty) hotel room where your kids are literally bouncing off the walls. So this time, we decided that we’d rent a home (which is kind of a scary process, I’m not going to lie) for a week. It cost us about the same amount as two dinky hotel rooms per night, plus had the added bonus of a kitchen, living space, 2 bathrooms, 8 beds, and a waterfront view. We’ll never go back to a hotel again. (Ok, well, maybe that’s not totally true…but I think I’ve made my point…)
The house we rented was in Dana Point, right on the beach, and it was pretty much perfect. My one and only complaint was… you know, I don’t have a complaint. It was perfect. The weather turned out to be glorious while we were there. It was over 90 degrees for three of the 5 days we were there, clear and sunny. We were actually warm enough to feel like getting in the water. So I quickly overcame my fear of underwater sea-life (recent viewing of Soul Surfer notwithstanding) and grabbed a boogie board and jumped in. I haven’t had that much fun since I was 17!
The other thing I really enjoyed was shopping at Trader Joe’s. I’ve been hearing all my “Enlightened” buddies raving about it for ages, and it did not disappoint. Great food, (meaning no fake crap in it) and great prices. Kevin and I are still lamenting the fact that there are no Trader Joe’s in Colorado. (I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that our grocery stores do not sell more that 3.2 liquor in them.) He is missing their Bran Flakes, and I miss… well, my list is too long to share.
And since we had Kevin’s family with us, Kevin and I were also able to escape and go on 2 dates during our whole trip! (A major first for us! And thank you so much, Cherry, Andrea and Philip!) One was in Vegas, where we were treated to an excellent dinner and fabulous live music at BB King’s, and then the Legends show, with Kev’s dad and his lovely girlfriend, Sylvia. (I can’t tell you the last time we were on a double date either.) The second was in Dana Point where we ate at a great restaurant called Thai This, and then went for a scenic drive looking at the city lights. It was gorgeous!
Two of the days of our California trip, we headed down to San Clemente, mostly because we like to explore, and partly because we wanted to find a beach with less river rock on it. San Clemente had a great beach and great waves. We were not disappointed.
Las Vegas was also a great time as well. We were treated to some great rooms there, courtesy of Kevin’s dad. We took the kids to Circus Circus, and they had a blast. But I have to say, they were more impressed by the buffet at South Point on the way back… Beau insists that this was his favorite part of the trip! (He had no less than 4 plates stacked up by his place the night we ate there, haha!)
So even though our pocketbooks are quite a bit lighter, it was a fantastic trip and well worth it. We were rejuvenated, fulfilled and happy.
