This week I had one of those days that, as I told my sister, I wish would fall into the “Abyss of Days that I don’t Ever Want to Think About Again.” I’m not sure if this third trimester is just hitting me like a sledge hammer or if I’m dealing with what has seemed to be a monthly cycle of P.M.S. without the period, meaning I’m depressed, super tired, cranky and irrational. No matter what it is, my excuse is that I’m pregnant…things are bound to be a little wonky. Still, being pregnant wasn’t the only reason I wanted to throw that day in the pooper.
For one thing, I’ve been a bit sad, maybe even angry about some turmoil some blogger friends are experiencing, that I feel is just not fair, but uncontrollable. Thank the Lord, however, He is in control!
Then my mother got a call back from her neurologist with unsettling news. Apparently, her MRI showed that she has more lesions on her brain and a tumor on her pituitary gland. This also means that the medicine she has been taking now (and suffering the side effects of) is not working, and she will have to get on a new one. Thankfully the other medicine has very mild side effects, but has to be injected daily. This was news I didn’t want or need to hear, let alone my poor mother!
But there is good news. For that I am thankful, especially in the face of all this. My mom is not experiencing any symptoms from her MS right now at all. She has been steadily improving now for several weeks. She is seeing better, becoming more steady on her feet, and her happy, more carefree self seems to be making a return too. She even went snowboarding several times this winter, which is also a big triumph. I’ve also seen her grow a lot in her faith and relationship with God, which is probably one of the best things happening. So, as it stands, we are kind of in a “we reject that information” stance about the call from her neurologist. As my mom puts it, “I refuse to accept that I’m not going to get any better.” And I refuse to accept that she’s not going to get any better too!
Today I’m feeling much better and things are not seeming so dire as they were earlier in the week. We’re staying home, (we were going over to the other side of the mountains to check out some houses) and finishing a few house projects. Then next weekend it will be off to WARMTH, finally, for about 10 days to visit my FIL and his wife, and my sister and her hubby, so I’m really looking forward to that. We are capping off our vacation with a Mutemath show as well….(insert cheesy grin here.) Will try to blog as much as possible, but making no promises.